You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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