Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
