Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
