So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize