I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
