Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
