The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
