Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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