Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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