I wanna bring you to show and tell
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
