If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
