Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
