everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
