Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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