We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize