dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
