it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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