I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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