Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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