that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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