And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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