Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
