I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
