No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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