I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We need a shit load of segways right now
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
