I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize