just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
