I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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