I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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