So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I FOUND THE LEGS
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
