Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
