Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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