Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
