His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
