So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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