Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up under a house in Key West
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
