I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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