Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think my moral compass just broke
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
