Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
