My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
