her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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