i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
