u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
