I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His hands were made for my vagina.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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