I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
one might say we're banned from that church
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
