I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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