Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
