Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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