We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
