Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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