u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
