So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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