listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
