Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize