i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
