my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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