But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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