return my video game
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize