Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
