clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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