Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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