I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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