Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
