For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
