Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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