trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
