Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
