i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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